I was accosted by a homeless man on a bicycle in Irvine. Someone alert the authorities. The gestapo isn’t doing a good job of keeping the riff raff out of Irvine and making it that model planned community it was advertised as.
I just realized I was actually in Tustin when this happened, so good job Irvine police! I wonder if the citizens of Irvine lock their doors and close their window shades when they see a vagrant wandering down the street, like them town folk do in all the western films when the bad guys come down the main street looking for trouble. Little Joey, run and tell the sheriff that Mad Dog is back in town!
This incident (I say this like I was traumatized. The guy was actually really nice and didn’t hassle me after I told him I had no change on me. Give me my literary license.) occurred at the new shopping area called “The District at Tustin Legacy” off Jamboree and MacArthur. I love these elaborate names chosen to make people think they’re at some sort of “experience” and not just indulging in their consumer tendencies. Aside from the lame name, they do have a bitchin’ Target there. It’s become my tradition to get a small Icee (Can’t go wrong with cherry) to enjoy while I browse through the store, and if I’m still in the mood I refill it before I leave. Icees make everything better.
Speaking of ridiculous names, I came across the term “Bildungsroman” while exploring wikipedia entries on some novels. It’s the snooty word for “Coming of age story.” Now I shall proceed to write a coming of age story so when I’m at wine and cheese parties I can talk about how I wrote a bildungsroman, and people will say, “Oh really?” and then then they will lean over to their friends and whisper, “He must be important.”